Welcome to Sunday Morning

Dear Survivors of Suicide,

There will be days when you will feel lonely, angry, guilty, abandoned or sad. How could he/she do this to me? Why couldn’t I have stopped him/her? So many questions, and many more personal conversations with yourself recreating events, conversations and the final outcome. With all these thoughts and emotions stirring up within you, your well being and mental health is at risk.

What can you do to take care of yourself and maintain balance?

I suggest you first allow yourself to feel. Give yourself and your thoughts time and attention. Identify a time in the day to reflect on your lost loved one.
Write him or her; write to yourself about your grief, anger, sadness, loneliness and about how this painful experience has changed you.

Many of you know about Anniversary Reactions, on important dates such as birthdays, holidays, the day your loved one ended their life. Anniversary Reactions can last for days to months at a time, where you will be emotionally unstable, likely with poor sleep, concentration and limited patience. These periods can recur for years, however usually the emotional pain lessens.

Find a way to pay tribute to your loved one on those anniversaries.

Light a candle and allow it to burn while you reflect on your loved one. Once the allotted time has passed you blow out the candle.
You could include your loved one in the upcoming holidays, by cooking their favorite food, playing their favorite music during gatherings.
Telling stories about him or her that elicit positive feelings and laughter can also be helpful.
Remember, there is no right length of time to “get over it”, but you must continue to love and live your life to the fullest.

I recommend you seek psychotherapy, attend a support group or visit your local library to check out books on grief and bereavement. If you continue to have sleep, appetite or energy disturbances after three months, it is time to see a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. Be pro-active in maintaining your mental health. Good nutrition, exercise, spiritual practices and avoidance of drugs and alcohol will contribute greatly to your physical and mental well being. Allow your friends and loved ones to be a support to you, don’t withdraw from them or isolate yourself.

Also be kind to yourself, you have been traumatized, but not destroyed. Remember you are a survivor.

Respectfully yours,

About Dr. Hillary Wynn

Hillary Wynn, M.D. is a Board Certified Independent Psychiatric Consultant. She is Board Certified as a General and Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist. Currently, she is a consultant for St. Charles Youth & Family Services, AJA Counseling Center and Aurora Family Services. She is also the founder of Collective Focus Speaking & Training Options, LLC based Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She is also featured in Bill Cosby’s new book Come On People: On the Path from Victims to Victors.