Here are 10 things that I have found helpful as I work through my grief surrounding my husband's suicide. Again, these are things that have been helpful for me, they may not be helpful for everyone, but I thought they were worth sharing. And yes, I have done/am currently doing all 10.

1. Pray
I have spent so much time on my knees, having candid discussions with God. And even in this unfortunate situation, He continues to bless me. Martin's suicide has truly helped me reconnect with my spirituality.
Don’t lose your faith.

2. Cry
Yes I cry alot. I cry in the car, in the bed, at church, wherever, whenever. I'm a certified crybaby and I'm okay with that.
Don’t try to hold in your feelings.

3. Join a Survivor Support Group
I was skeptical about this at first. I'm just being honest. But now I am so thankful for our group. I attended my first support group in April 2007 and I'm glad I mustered up the courage to go. I went by myself and it was truly a positive experience. I've been going ever since, although I have missed a few meetings due to scheduling conflicts. For the last few months, my mom has been attending with me. It is so good to talk to other survivors who are on the same journey, even though we are at different stages of the healing process. I will definitely be going back next month. If you live in the Milwaukee area, here's the link to some Survivor of Suicide support groups

http://www.mhawisconsin.org/content/survivors_helping_survivors.asp.

Don’t be afraid to express your feelings in a comfortable setting.

4. Talk about your loved one
It's almost like some people want to pretend that my husband never existed. Like they are uncomfortable acknowledging his life. Yes he's dead, but he lived a good life and he touched so many people's lives. It's helpful for me to talk about him, not in a creepy way, but just simply acknowledging his life. Saying "Martin would like that" or “Remember when Martin and I..." Talking to my friends and family about funny memories that we shared with Martin is very helpful for me.
Don’t pretend as if your loved one never existed.

5. Keep a Journal
I highly recommend keeping a journal. I started one a couple weeks after my husband's death. It's been a good outlet for me to express my feelings. Putting it down on paper is therapeutic for me.
Don’t think that you are all alone. All survivors of suicide experience a similar emotional rollercoaster after the death of our loved one.

6. Make Daily 'To Do' Lists
After the funeral, I knew I had to step up to the plate and get our finances in order, but I had no idea where to start. I bought another journal just to keep my 'to do' lists. I wrote down everything I needed to do including my appointments and daily tasks that needed to be handled. I'm still using it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t try to do everything yourself. That’s what family and friends are for.

7. Forgive
My husband's suicide is still pretty fresh but I am working on forgiving him and forgiving myself. The guilt and anger that seem to go hand-in-hand with suicide can be pretty ugly. But, at the end of the day, I have to accept that this is a decision my husband made. I'm not happy he made this decision, but I will have to accept it. And I'm trying my best to forgive him. Then there's the flip side of that coin, where I'm asking myself "what if I had done this" and "what if I had done that." I'm working on forgiving myself and accepting the fact that I didn't kill my husband. I didn't pull the trigger. His suicide is not my fault.

8. Talk to Yourself
Oh boy. I do this everyday-but not to the point where people think I'm crazy (or do they? LOL). I have so many conversations with myself, especially when I'm in the car.
Don’t suffer in silence. It’s not healthy. Talk to someone, even if it’s yourself!

9. Talk to family and close friends about your feelings
This one is pretty self explanatory. I've found that there are about 4 people I can actually talk to about this situation, including my mother. I'm blessed to have those 4 folks I know I can have candid conversations with about this not so wonderful topic.
Again, don’t suffer in silence.

10. Get a Therapist who understands suicide
I didn't want to do this one. I've never been big on 'therapy.' I don't know why. My therapist is amazing. I actually look forward to our appointments. She is helping me sort through my feelings and helping me understand (to the best of my ability) this entire situation.
Don’t knock it until you try it!